Fish don't eat melon

So, half way through the Summer, I thought I'd share some whinges with you.
1 - Fish don't eat melon skins so please don't throw them in the sea.
2 - We know your huge great noise, air and sea polluting boat is faster than ours, you don't need to get so close to us, at speed, to prove it.
3 - TM - you need more patrol boats out there - perhaps with regular wardens on - they at least can write some tickets out. No point forcing a licence on sea goers if no policing is in place.
4 - Teenagers - stop jumping off cliffs into the sea. It's been done. It's not safe. It's not the only way to get a free helicopter ride.
5 - Party boats - go where there are no other boats. Your passengers are surely too drunk to know / care if anyone is around them.
6 - Seaside eateries - we know your season is short, but not as short as people's holidays. Please don't overcharge. There's a lot of coast and a lot of Summer. Play nicely.
7 - Vodafone / GO / Melita - can we have voice and data coverage all around the islands please?
8 - There's a market for a shop-ship selling fruit and veg and bread, milk and papers at the weekends....
9 - There's a market for watertaxi's from the shore to boats - I would offer, but my dinghy skills are laughable.
And to end on a positive note,  I would like to thank the jellyfish for staying away (so far) this year.

Enjoy the rest of the Summer!